My Take on the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting Travesty

As a caricature artist I’ve drawn many thousands of kids – particularly young tourists from the northeast – since 2005.  Recently at the Sailfish Marina on Singer Island (Florida), I counted a number of childrens from Connecticut as having caricatures done. That’s because I always ask where they’re hailing from.

I conceivably could have drawn one of those children, though I’ll probably never know this. One thing is certain, however: I will never get to draw them now.

This is MY take on this senseless debacle.

Cartoon shows a grief-stricken Santa crying in the aftermath of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings.

A “printable” version of this has been added to my home website.

Anthony Weiner for President?

Unsubstantiated rumors circulating the web claim embattled Congressman Anthony Weiner might turn the tables on his detractors by running for the nation’s highest office.

Bill Clinton set the bar on sexual chicanery in the White House during his Lewinsky affair — but fostered a great economy at the same time. Perhaps there’s a connection of talent here, one beneficial to Rep. Weiner’s potential comeback.

Satire/news website IUDEXonline just uploaded former CRACKED Magazine Publisher Dick Kulpa’s “Top Ten List” of possible slogans Weiner may wish to use during any potential Presidential run.

These are based on famous slogans from past elections. “Weiner’s the One” was borrowed from Richard Nixon’s 1972 campaign, and the obvious “A Weiner in every Bun” is derived from the famous Herbert Hoover “Chicken in every pot” slogan. There are eight more, one of them inspired by an Alice Cooper hit song!

In another breaking IUDEXonline story, the results are in on Sarah Palin’s emails, Be prepared for a shock!

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin

Hot Dog! Check Out the Captain’s Latest Weiner Cartoons

Click on cartoon to see Weiner in a bun

Captain Cartoon has thrown his two cents’ worth of cartoon commentary into the fray, posting brand new Anthony Weiner cartoon illustrations, including one featuring a naked Weiner wrapped in a hot dog bun, on his news-satire website.

Congressman Weiner recently shot himself in the (foot) with “tweets” of suggestive and outright lewd pix aimed at females following his Twitter account. While the Captain originally intended to let this issue pass without comment, the Congressman’s continued lies and bizarre revelations changed the cartoonist’s mind.But this hot dog is not the only cartoon subject on the Captain’s IUDEXonline website! Former IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn is featured in a “visual”, chasing a maid down a hotel suite hallway. wearing his birthday suit. A full body shot of Arnold Schwarzenegger “as a baby” is posted, as well as a cartoon visual showing Osama bin Laden meeting Jesus in Heaven.

IUDEXonline (pronounced as “YOU-decks”) is the Captain’s satire website, a culmination of his previous 40 years experience as a political cartoonist (various newspapers), tabloid editor (Weekly World News), teen humor magazine publisher (Cracked Magazine) and lately, caricature artist. The Captain’s works have enjoyed syndication by newspaper comic strip syndicates.

Captain Cartoon currently appears throughout South Florida as a party and event caricature artist. He also produces cartoons, caricatures, illustrations and billboard cartoons for a variety of clients.

Arnold Schwarzenegger as a Baby? Meet “The Tot-inator”

Given the ongoing tempest over Arnold Schwarzenegger’s recently-revealed extra-curricular activities, Captain Cartoon has posted his second Schwarzenegger cartoon commentary. A devout fan of Arnie and his Terminator movies, the Captain is not taking these drawings, or the issues, lightly.

Drawing on his tabloid (Weekly World News) roots, Captain Cartoon (aka Dick Kulpa) immediately pondered as to what the “love child” looked like.  A quick sketch during a marina caricature stint brought howls of laughter from curious onlookers, but the Captain, after some considerable soul-searching, felt the newly-discovered son to be a total innocent in this case.

Likewise, Maria Shriver seems to have done nothing but right during her marriage to the Terminator.

As for Arnold Schwarzenegger himself? No problemo!

Rather than ponder as to what an Arnold Schwarzenegger “love child” might look like, the Captain instead chose to imagine Arnold himself as an infant.

In fact, the thought did occur: As a plot device for the next terminator spin-off, Arnold’s T-101 could get it on with the Terminatrix from movie 3 and create their very own “Tot-inator!”

Captain Cartoon conception of Arnie as a baby. The "Totinator" is shown with a "dumbbell-rattle" and a bottle of Muscle Milk in this cartoon. Click image for its home web site and larger view -- there are a number of celeb caricatures and political cartoons on this page!

Hasta la vista, baby!

Is Al Qaida Plot Causing Speaker Boehner to Cry?

House Speaker John Beohner's loose tearducts are beginning to irritate some people.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — They vowed to turn American cheers into tears, and it looks like Al Qaida is succeeding, say sources, who claim to have uncovered a bizarre terrorist plot designed to turn U.S. officials into crybabies. Oddly enough, it appears U.S. Speaker of the House John “Boo-Hoo” Boehner is their prime target.

Speaker Boehner allegedly broke down twice as he spoke during a recent commencement exercise in the nation’s capital, according to major news organizations. If true, this is the latest in a series of crying jags besetting the prominent U.S. official, stemming from victory speech wails to a breakdown on the TV show “60 Minutes.” Other weeping incidents have also occurred in his recent past, according to press reports.

But there may be cause for all this: The unnamed sources claim a mystery parcel — filled with onions — was found “in close proximity” to Boehner’s podium. Other evidence has also been found, they add.

But “terrorist plots” may not be the culprits. A psychic claims Boehner’s propensity for crying stems from an alleged rejection by girl playmates back when he was a boy.

In a recent alleged incident, several key congressmen supposedly chastised Boehner , comparing their pit bulls, German Shepherds and Dobermans to an alleged poodle in the Speaker’s possession, and at one point Boehner began to cry. Feeling sorry for their colleague, the offending representatives backed Boehner for Speaker of the House.

This satirist has not found any evidence of any poodle in Boehner’s possession, and attempts to reach key people went unanswered. Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was said to be “snickering too much” to comment.

“Speaker (John) Boehner is part of the line of succession to the U.S. Presidency,” warns an outsider. “Whatever is ailing him, be it Al Qaida plots, onions, hemorrhoids or defacto emotional issues, he needs to “man up” and get this resolved before America starts to look like it’s run by a bunch of sissies. Perhaps an on-off spigot attached to each eye will do it.

See more at Iudexonline.

So did Osama bin Laden get his 72 Virgins?

For those who clamored to see the actual death photo of Osama, I hope this cartoon version helps.

Terrorists talk each other into blowing themselves up with promises of 72-odd Virgins awaiting them in Paradise. So . . . did Osama bin Laden get his?

Former Cracked magazine publisher turned Internet satirist Dick Kulpa offers THIS rather interesting scenario, showing what he thinks is the kingpin terrorist’s final reward.

Alternative Osama bin Laden “Death” Pix for Folks Hot to See SOMETHING . . .

Captain Cartoon has posted his own interpretation of Osama Bin Laden’s face as it might have looked during the SEAL raid on his compound. One image reflects his looks when he first laid eyes on SEALS, and a second Osama image shows him after he was put out of his misery — at least as per the Captain’s interpretation.

President Obama’s decision to categorically NOT release the Osama death photos “is in all probability the right move,” says the Captain. “But I felt all those people waiting to see ‘something,’ needed something.”

Keeping in mind that Captain Cartoon’s caricature site is “family friendly,” the Captain did exercise some discretion in posting this imagery.”These are somewhat ‘sanitized,” he admits.

Along with these images is his latest royalty-free Obama-Osama cartoon, swiftly drawn and uploaded immediately after the death of Osama bin Laden was announced. Plus, royalty-free cartoons showing Donald Trump in superhero tights and Charlie Sheen in a “Whiners” T-shirt can also be seen.

All these images, and more, can be seen here.

Elvis Presley Agrees With Trump — “Show Me Obama’s Birth Certificate!”

WEST PALM BEACH — IUDEX online is reporting that Elvis Presley is offering to come out of hiding and perform in public if the President releases his actual birth certificate!

Dovetailing on possible Presidential contender Donald Trump’s accelerated investigation into the ongoing “birther” controversy, the caller purporting to be Elvis offered to appear on Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice “once the certificate is released.”

IUDEX Online had no way of knowing if the caller was actually Elvis, who allegedly died in 1977. Numerous reports of “Elvis sightings” have been made through the years. “It sure sounded like ‘The King,'” said IUDEX online’s publisher. See more.

In a related story, a IUDEX online poll indicates Donald Trump would win the Presidential election hands down. “Folks are seeing The Donald as a real superhero, says IUDEX online’s publisher. “He’s certainly proven himself in both handling money and problem solving.”

Some experts view Trump’s foray as a publicity stunt, but others worry he’ll get in over his head. “Trump may have made his mark in the real estate business, but he’s got lots to learn in the handling of real state business,” said one.

Alleged insiders also say Trump is considering recruiting a squad of cheerleaders, dubbed “The TRUMPettes,” for his coming Presidential campaign.

Donald Trump may be just the superhero this country needs to help get America back on track.

Cartoonist says ‘Use Cartoon Billboards and Campaigns to Stop Union-Busting GOP’

As corporate-backed Republicans target the working man’s major organizations, i.e. labor unions, political cartoonist and caricaturist Captain Cartoon thinks it’s high time to fight back — with cartoon campaigns!

The veteran political cartoonist has harnessed cartoon campaigns in support of (or in defense of) numerous issues, with admirable success. His most recent campaigns utilized gigantic cartoon billboards drawn on behalf of various police unions.

“I’m neither pro nor anti union,” says the artist. “Rather, I’m ‘pro-America.’ However, it’s becoming more apparent to me that there’s a definite ‘Republican-fueled’  targeting of ‘the little guy’,  and what better way to accomplish this  than to destroy one of the common man’s most powerful institutions, i.e. organized labor,” he said.

To that end, Captain Cartoon is prepared to draw cartoons — at discounted rates — in support of union supporters in Wisconsin, Ohio and Indiana.

“Trust me, political cartoons — created and presented effectively — tend to get their point across, if not send the bad guys ‘heading for cover,'” he added, “I aim for the jugular.”

See  the Captain’s latest cartoon billboards, as well as impressive results of some of these campaigns, here!

Classic Green Bay Packers VS Chicago Bears cartoons posted online

Captain Cartoon, aka Dick Kulpa, is former publisher of the teen humor-satire CRACKED Magazine, former editor-art director for Weekly World News, and has drawn three syndicated comic strips. His “Draw Play” football cartoon appeared in the Chicago Bear Report from 1988-1999.

The BIG game is drawing near! We’re not referring to the Super Bowl, but the “Super-Duper Bowl,” pitting the Chicago Bears against the Green Bay Packers!

To commemorate the occasion, South Florida caricaturist/cartoonist Captain Cartoon is posting vintage Green Bay Packers VS Chicago Bears cartoons on his website! These originally appeared from 1988-1999 in the weekly Chicago Bear Report newspaper, published by former Bears star Doug Buffone.

The Captain was not always happy with the Bears' play.

“Working for the Bear Report was a challenge,” says the cartoonist. “I had a limited window of time after each game to draw up a cartoon commentary and either fax or modem it to the newspaper for publication the next morning,” he says. “And night games were the roughest.”

“I also worked full time as a Weekly World News editor and art director, and for three of those years I simultaneously drew the nationally-syndicated cartoon strip Ghost Story Club.” he said.

“Some of the cartoons are funny, others, subtle,” says the Captain. “One cartoon shows just how “hot” the Packers played that day — I drew a devil’s pitchfork burning a Bear player’s rear.”

Cheesy Packers squeaked by Bears in 1997

“I worked with two outstanding editors at the Bear Report, Michael Polzin, and later, Larry Meyer. I was given significant leeway to implement my own ideas, though I suspect drawing toilet paper stuck to Mike McCaskey’s foot (after Mike Ditka was released) didn’t make me any friends in the front office,”  the Captain said.

So if you’re awaiting the pending “Packer Massacre”, check out those golden oldies! Additional archive cartoons are being posted each day, before “the mother of all football games,” and the Captain plans to create a brand new cartoon comment after the game!

And if you’re looking to get a digital or hard copy caricature of yourself or your kids, Captain Cartoon has posted samples of those works — and how to get them — on the site. Just click the caricature!

FREE caricature drawn at Rosalita's Tex-Mex Grill in Atlantis, FL. Captain Cartoon appears there every Tuesday evening.