Arnold Schwarzenegger as a Baby? Meet “The Tot-inator”

Given the ongoing tempest over Arnold Schwarzenegger’s recently-revealed extra-curricular activities, Captain Cartoon has posted his second Schwarzenegger cartoon commentary. A devout fan of Arnie and his Terminator movies, the Captain is not taking these drawings, or the issues, lightly.

Drawing on his tabloid (Weekly World News) roots, Captain Cartoon (aka Dick Kulpa) immediately pondered as to what the “love child” looked like.  A quick sketch during a marina caricature stint brought howls of laughter from curious onlookers, but the Captain, after some considerable soul-searching, felt the newly-discovered son to be a total innocent in this case.

Likewise, Maria Shriver seems to have done nothing but right during her marriage to the Terminator.

As for Arnold Schwarzenegger himself? No problemo!

Rather than ponder as to what an Arnold Schwarzenegger “love child” might look like, the Captain instead chose to imagine Arnold himself as an infant.

In fact, the thought did occur: As a plot device for the next terminator spin-off, Arnold’s T-101 could get it on with the Terminatrix from movie 3 and create their very own “Tot-inator!”

Captain Cartoon conception of Arnie as a baby. The "Totinator" is shown with a "dumbbell-rattle" and a bottle of Muscle Milk in this cartoon. Click image for its home web site and larger view -- there are a number of celeb caricatures and political cartoons on this page!

Hasta la vista, baby!

Is Al Qaida Plot Causing Speaker Boehner to Cry?

House Speaker John Beohner's loose tearducts are beginning to irritate some people.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — They vowed to turn American cheers into tears, and it looks like Al Qaida is succeeding, say sources, who claim to have uncovered a bizarre terrorist plot designed to turn U.S. officials into crybabies. Oddly enough, it appears U.S. Speaker of the House John “Boo-Hoo” Boehner is their prime target.

Speaker Boehner allegedly broke down twice as he spoke during a recent commencement exercise in the nation’s capital, according to major news organizations. If true, this is the latest in a series of crying jags besetting the prominent U.S. official, stemming from victory speech wails to a breakdown on the TV show “60 Minutes.” Other weeping incidents have also occurred in his recent past, according to press reports.

But there may be cause for all this: The unnamed sources claim a mystery parcel — filled with onions — was found “in close proximity” to Boehner’s podium. Other evidence has also been found, they add.

But “terrorist plots” may not be the culprits. A psychic claims Boehner’s propensity for crying stems from an alleged rejection by girl playmates back when he was a boy.

In a recent alleged incident, several key congressmen supposedly chastised Boehner , comparing their pit bulls, German Shepherds and Dobermans to an alleged poodle in the Speaker’s possession, and at one point Boehner began to cry. Feeling sorry for their colleague, the offending representatives backed Boehner for Speaker of the House.

This satirist has not found any evidence of any poodle in Boehner’s possession, and attempts to reach key people went unanswered. Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was said to be “snickering too much” to comment.

“Speaker (John) Boehner is part of the line of succession to the U.S. Presidency,” warns an outsider. “Whatever is ailing him, be it Al Qaida plots, onions, hemorrhoids or defacto emotional issues, he needs to “man up” and get this resolved before America starts to look like it’s run by a bunch of sissies. Perhaps an on-off spigot attached to each eye will do it.

See more at Iudexonline.

Caylee Anthony Memorial Portrait Posted on Web

Memorial portrait of young Caylee Anthony as we hope she now looks -- as an angel. Click on the image to see a larger view on the website page featuring it.

This memorial portrait of two-year-old Caylee Anthony has been posted on Caricature artist Captain Cartoon’s website.

The South Florida caricature captain has drawn nearly 20,000 caricatures of younger girls during the past seven years, and says he’s come to see all little girls as angels.

“Without passing judgement on guilt or innocence of Caylee’s mom, I felt people needed some sort of feelgood image associated with little Caylee” said the Captain, co-producer of the teen girl-oriented Starlette Universe. “I have two daughters and a granddaughter myself. I recall them at Caylee’s age — they were total angels.”

Mother Casey Anthony’s murder trial is expected to begin Monday, May 9.

Captain Cartoon has no intent on marketing the image, and if any proceeds were ever to arise from it, all would go to child abuse prevention charities.

So did Osama bin Laden get his 72 Virgins?

For those who clamored to see the actual death photo of Osama, I hope this cartoon version helps.

Terrorists talk each other into blowing themselves up with promises of 72-odd Virgins awaiting them in Paradise. So . . . did Osama bin Laden get his?

Former Cracked magazine publisher turned Internet satirist Dick Kulpa offers THIS rather interesting scenario, showing what he thinks is the kingpin terrorist’s final reward.

Alternative Osama bin Laden “Death” Pix for Folks Hot to See SOMETHING . . .

Captain Cartoon has posted his own interpretation of Osama Bin Laden’s face as it might have looked during the SEAL raid on his compound. One image reflects his looks when he first laid eyes on SEALS, and a second Osama image shows him after he was put out of his misery — at least as per the Captain’s interpretation.

President Obama’s decision to categorically NOT release the Osama death photos “is in all probability the right move,” says the Captain. “But I felt all those people waiting to see ‘something,’ needed something.”

Keeping in mind that Captain Cartoon’s caricature site is “family friendly,” the Captain did exercise some discretion in posting this imagery.”These are somewhat ‘sanitized,” he admits.

Along with these images is his latest royalty-free Obama-Osama cartoon, swiftly drawn and uploaded immediately after the death of Osama bin Laden was announced. Plus, royalty-free cartoons showing Donald Trump in superhero tights and Charlie Sheen in a “Whiners” T-shirt can also be seen.

All these images, and more, can be seen here.